REFLECTIONS

 

Reflections

A lot crosses my mind when I decided to scribble my thoughts after the death of my father. Shall I write about him? Though it seems the right topic a doubt creeps into my head wondering how many people who know him could relate to what I write apart from the common characteristics that my dad is known for.

 

It was a beautiful autumn evening in Oct when I received a call from home informing me my dad had suffered a stroke.  The initial moments of panic gave way to strategic approaches to bring the situation under control though there was a looming gloom that kept telling me this was not going to end well. A whirlwind of emotions, a trip to plan and the fear that comes with uncertainty were hard to handle. 

 

Every person who lives far away from their parents can relate the fear of not reaching them on time.  What awaits us: a frozen body, a body supported by ventilator or a breathing one whose limbs are warm to touch to give a sense of relief amidst all chaos?

 

I always wonder what gave me the strength to endure the long travel without shedding a tear. My friend’s advice not to fall prey to emotions and to stay alert to make the right decisions kept me going until after the funeral. I have always labelled me as an emotionally weak one, but I realized that I am the strongest person in the face of adversities. How did I gain all this strength? The strength that was gained by chanting prayers. The unwavering belief that I was being guided all the time, the support of my family and the kindness radiated from many whose paths that I crossed in those days.

I count myself as fortunate: as I celebrated my fiftieth birthday within a month of my father’s demise there were many who lost their fathers so early in their lives.  The life of my father was not an easy path, but he made it look so well-trodden. For me he was the epitome of kindness and patience.  I have learned so much from him that is going to make me a better person for sure. All the love and compassion he showered on me are the blessings that I would count forever. When one of the relatives commented about how similar I am to my father in keeping up with the relationship and down to earth attitude I know that is an honor that I proudly hold close to my heart.